How writing a Pain List unblocks you

This story is one of several about the reasons I came to create Life’s Battle Plan. The Pain List is one of the lessons — Day 7, to be exact — in the workbook. This is a practical stage you must pass through successfully: after defining your dreams, before you’re on your way to making them real. 

– also published on Medium

Until I started taking my Pain List items seriously, until I started putting some of this stuff to bed, nothing new was coming into my life. My life didn’t feel like it was going in the direction I wanted it to go. It didn’t feel like it was going anywhere. In fact, if it was moving at all, it moved to a wasteful end. 

What was underneath that was I had a history of learned helplessness in the face of obstruction. “If I try, it’ll only end up in disappointment, so I prefer to dream.”

Life is full of obstructions that loom larger than they actually are. Dysfunctional people resist our unclear or maladroit attempts to remove obstructions to make our situations and relationships better. (When we get really clear, it’s hard for them to thwart our changes.) They typically respond in a way that shuts us down. In the face of getting shut down, some people get clearer and go for it another way. Other people, however, give up more easily. They should not!

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